8.6.12

I am alive. After having spent so long longing and looking for something, I have found it. I have felt human. I have read novel after novel. I have sat and stared in silence at the light pouring through the white curtain in the morning. I have sat on the back porch and been devastated over the death of Anna and thrilled at the birth of Levin's son and rejoiced in the wheat of his harvest amidst the summer storm. I have painted with water and old acrylics on the edge of the pouring rain on the back porch which on occasion splattered on my painting and mixed with the colors. I have held a child with blue eyes as she grasped me with her tiny hands and declared her love. I have sat in vacant silence with my sister on the top of a hill devastated by the beauty of the green field and the clouds of orange and pink. I have ran a mile very day for a week. I have had leisure time at last, I have escaped from capitalism at last if only for a moment. I have had time. It had been summer break. I have begun to be rested.